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My gawd, Last night fuckin sucked sooo hard. I decided to go to bed around like close to 2am. Hey I couldn't sleep I was sick yesterday and slept til 2pm anyways. I didn't really fall asleep til like 3:30
Anywho, I lay down listening to my ipod, well my musica that normally makes me pass out. Except everytime I feel asleep it was a really f*cked up dream. This one dream kept repeating..it felt so real it was scary. I woke up fuckin crying, shaking, outta breath. It was like this I'm riding in my friend's car. He drives down my street to drop me off by my house. Except my house is in flames when we got there. At that point I lost my sanity. I was about ot try to run in my house and try to save them or maybe die with them.
My friend is holding me back I'm crying my eyes out telling him "God dammnit, let me go. I can't let them die. If it was me in there they would of tried to save me. If you love me let me go so i can try to save them." It fades out black and it reappear with me and my friend watching my house get dowsed with water. The fire department stops the fire goes in my house and comes out telling me "I'm sorry miss there are no survivors". That moment I fall to floor crying and slam my knuckles against the cement pavement to my house.
Due to my house was so badly burned I had to stay with my friend for awhile. For a good chunk of the moment I gone like almost emo. I never smiled anymore, I couldn't have eye contact, and if someone yelled at me I didn't fight back...I just let em. My friend tired of seeing me depressed, just hugs me not letting me go. And Before I knew it---I broke down right in his arms.
Dream 2: The second dream it was almost dark and I'm just standing on a dock looking at the view. Then all of sudden my arms was pulled back handcuffed, and my mouth was covered with some sort of cloth. And I was pushed in the water, I tried to break free while being underwater. I remember all the people who i care about, the people I lost, it was like my whole life flashing before my eyes. In the end I just accepted death and watched as my body slipping into the darkness of the water.
So in the end a good chunk of the night I was waking up crying, shaking, and trying to calm myself down. Last night was just depressing T.T. I hope tonight will be a better night.
Laterz, ~Claire
This weekend was pretty much slow, I got to talk to a few people on the phone and IM em so it was okay. Was On Deviantart, Gaiaonline, youtube, and lots other stuff.~~~~My Deviantart name: Cinderella-himeGaiaonline name: Cloey71891Youtube name:Sesshomarufangirl16~~~~~I feel sorta sick, not in the best condition but compared to yesterday I'm decent. Yesterday was hell. Saturday night I had a huge argument with my dad and then sunday I stayed in my room with no food til like 9:30pm. I hope to god I don't have to change in gym. I really don't want to have gym at all. It makes me feel outta shape really. Or That I'm fat, one of those tw theories always goes through my headin gym class....
Sleepin, hasn't been good in awhile. I pass out in the day nows and don't fall asleep til 2am or abit more on school night. So if my friend isn't on punishment and he's still up we talk on the phone til either my phone goes dead or til I tell him I gotta go or we can't talk tomorrie. Yes we both have issues sleeping. That--or were just vampires in disguise and don't know it lol.All weekend I been sneezing, coughing, and just--feeling gross. Yeah it was just one of those crappy weekends, ya know? But--it had like 1 good part. That's it though. Tuesday is gonna be a slow day and won't have barely any classes fuck yeah!!
So yeah I'll see you guys laterz, since most who follows me on here I see everyday at school.Byes Peoples ~Claire
Yeps, this is my topic for the my journal. I swear to God man, I'm sick of little grade skool guys. Just..stupid mother fuckers who are so childish.. I wanna date mature guy, who can be childish and yet be serious if needed too. Like herez a few points.. - He'll stare at my eyes where were talking---not just my body
- He'll wear clothes that looks so sexi, but in a mature way. it makes you wanna look at the eyes and his style at the same time.
- He would respect you if your still a virgin instead of going "Haha she's still a fucking virgin. Aww hell naw"
- He'll do things that seems almost irresistible and yet, make you want more. Like He'll slam you against the wall and make out with you and then pull away.
- When he calls you , he'll actually want to call you to talk not just try to do phone sex.
I mean I love someone right nows, and I always wanna make him happy. Even if he hurts me entirely. People do stupid things when their in love right? Come on College guys can laugh and have good time too, its just most stupid ass high skool guys suck at life. I ran outta things to say sooo laterz ~Claire
Yeah, Even though it snowed a hella lot today. We ended up going to school today -.-.You know you would think there is alot of snow if it almost covers all of your shoe.They should of just canceled school. When I was getting ready for school, it was really starting to snow. When I had 1st period it took almost the whole class period to have atleast half a class. I was dying to go home, The day over all was ok, not the greatest, but not the worst either.
By likee 1:10pm I was still in school. But by 1:30, they announced they we can leave by 2pm. Then by 1:45pm they announced we can leave to go home lol. Sooo yeah I came home had soup and layed down.
My body hurts soo bad, and I'm coughing kinda bad too =/. What would seem like a good thing, lay in bed, drinking hot chocolate and snuggling in with someone you love.Well--er, it sound more romantic really ^^;. But I can't do that though..maybe someday.
But yeah, about school before I get side-tracked. Due to the snow & weather conditions, we won't have school tomorrie either. I hope I'm off friday too, that would be so freaking sweet.
Just wanted to tell ya'll how school went for me.
~Banner made by me~~~~Does, anyone actually pay attention in class anyways? lolz. My whole body feels so numb right nows. Gym is sooo fucking tiring my whole body is aching.Plus my throat hurts really bad. Its just..I dunno for a girl who had like 4 1/2hrs of sleep. I'm still kinda hyper.Last night, I was getting read for bed until suprisenly my guy friend called. Like a lil girl, my face light up when his number appeared on my cell. And we talk from---12:30am to almost 3:30am. but then my phone cutt of and i couldn't find my charger for it. He might hates me nows T.T
Yesh, we talk like little girls lol. We talk about video games, about kitties, about how his door doesn't shut, about how much he loves me. umm about how bad i love him and wanna be wif him. Our topics change or vary alot when i talk wif him. He's getting really close to buying a PlayStation 3. Lolz then all of a sudden i was like "No, your wrong I don't just love you.. I Fuckin love you.".
He's a guy so he tried to be a pervert about it. infact He tries to ask pervy things..but fuck he's a guy. He's very blunt..about stuff ^^;. That I'm not really going into. Lolz He claims he's greedy about me. He was was like "claire if you lived next door i'd call you and force you to snuggle with me". Me:"Umm but what if I have to go home by 12? Or what if someone calls? What if my sister wants me to walk half way?" My friend"Nope, nope your ass isn't going home, for many reasons. Its late, its dark, its unsafe. I'm not giving you back, If I have to make you mine by force..then I will". Me:my my that sounds like you almost want force." XD Yes me & him are weird as fuck, but its a good thing though <33>__THISRES__154594.jpg)
We both have resolutions we gotta keep even if he is a whole state away from me. Our main resolutions is we have to be able to see each other..even if its just 1 day. Even 1 day would get over joyed but it would be so hard to let him go home and let go of his hand.
Umm I thinks that's it, Yesh Imma little girl and talk about moments that make me all girly.
PLEASE PEOPLE PRAY TO JEEBUS 4 A BLIZZARD I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL.
So laterz peoples
~Cloey
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