~Current December

Hey, not much going with me. Just Family issues and stuff. Ya I might as well post them right? My mom is just..becoming clueless. Every time she gambles I swear, its like she's becoming more numb. Like she's gambling her soul away... Its so fucked up it seems like I'm becoming the only being affected deeply by this. While everyone else is just like "Whatever who cares, our mom doesn't care about anything but slots". Or something close like that, we yell at our mom nothing happens. I cried begging and asking my mom stop her gambling ..still nothing. Its like she doesn't care much or at all about the family anymore...sucks hard huh?



Yeah my mom been a gambling addict for like 5yrs and up. Shit her bonuses and paychecks go pretty much to the casino. Now your probably wondering "How the fuck do you pay for bills and shit?". Answer: My dad's Social Security. That's how I am able to even go to school. If it probably wasn't for my dad...hell I probably would not be in school.



That's why I can't be a huge bitch to my dad. He spends his money on my school, and stuff. I am grateful to have a good education, and awesome friends to keep my sanity in place. May not seem like...but I am grateful for my dad. He takes care of me. May not be all the time..but sometimes my dad can be really nice. My mom I still care about my mom. Yes of coarse, I'm her daughter. But the way she is becoming now..its like she's not even being herself anymore .



I haven't been focusing as well anymore. When will my mom realize she needs to stop. When I can't go to Seton anymore? When we can't buy food? When will she realize how bad this is..when we can't afford to live in a house anymore? Its kinda hard to believe in a lie thinking "Yeah in a lil while my mom will come home". Because she does n't always come home on time. It can be from 7rh to 27hrs until she decides to come home...



Either she's gonna get help or I will to help cope with her gambling addicts. I have established NO shopping for Christmas yet. We got a huge freaking Christmas tree, my 2 sisters and Jake got for the family. So that's good. Although I got papers, essay's, and test to study for all this week almost..dear god gimme strength..plz?

Yeah..I'm done Typing this for nows. So Nightz, ~Claire